Mr. Newman, we will miss you

This morning the very sad news came that Paul Newman lost his battle with cancer. A few weeks ago the story was going around that he was on his deathbed and the news quickly spread at work; everyone was walking around asking, “Have you heard about Paul Newman? This is so sad, I can’t believe it”. Today he died and I miss that I can’t share this sadness with my co-workers. That’s one of the difficulties of living alone – you only have yourself to talk to. Ok, so that’s another whole blog entry for another day.

Paul Newman has always been one of my favorite actors; not only for his talent, but also for the social, political and philanthropic stance he took both in his personal life and in his movies. Something that he said that mirrors my own beliefs: “A man can only be judged by his actions, and not by his good intentions or his beliefs.” The list of my favorite movies that he starred in and directed is too long to list, but when I hear his name the movies that immediately come to mind are of course Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, The Verdict, The Sting, Cool Hand Luke, Absence of Malice, The Hustler. The list goes on and on. Even Message in a Bottle, that cheesy film that I couldn’t believe I watched even after reading the book – you had to love his character Dodge, what a sweet old guy.

I remember going to the theater with my friends to see Butch Cassidy and The Sundance Kid. We swooned through every minute of watching these two beautiful men on screen. I’ll never forget the last scene of the movie when they ran out shooting and the frame froze and you knew both characters died in the gun battle. Every female in the theater let out a collective cry of “noooooo!” I think I shed a tear.

Something else that I loved about Paul Newman is his long and loving marriage to Joanne Woodward. They were married nearly 51 years. Fifty-one years! And even after all those years together they were still in love, still romantic, still unable to hide their physical and sexual attraction to each other. We could all take a lesson from those two. I love this quote from Joanne Woodward: "Being married to Paul is being married to the most considerate, romantic man." My heart goes out to her today.

Paul Leonard Newman…may you rest in peace.

January 26, 1925 – September 26, 2008

This is Your Nation on White Privilege

~~ by Tim Wise

For those who still can't grasp the concept of white privilege, or who are constantly looking for some easy-to-understand examples of it, perhaps this list will help.

White privilege is when you can get pregnant at seventeen like Bristol Palin and everyone is quick to insist that your life and that of your family is a personal matter, and that no one has a right to judge you or your parents, because "every family has challenges," even as black and Latino families with similar "challenges" are regularly typified as irresponsible, pathological and arbiters of social decay.

White privilege is when you can call yourself a "fuckin' redneck," like Bristol Palin's boyfriend does, and talk about how if anyone messes with you, you'll "kick their fuckin' ass, and talk about how you like to "shoot shit" for fun, and still be viewed as a responsible, all-American boy (and a great son-in-law to be) rather than a thug.

White privilege is when you can attend four different colleges in six years like Sarah Palin did (one of which you basically failed out of, then returned to after making up some coursework at a community college), and no one questions your intelligence or commitment to achievement, whereas a person of color who did this would be viewed as unfit for college, and probably someone who only got in in the first place because of affirmative action.

White privilege is when you can claim that being mayor of a town smaller than most medium-sized colleges, and then Governor of a state with about the same number of people as the lower fifth of the island of Manhattan, makes you ready to potentially be president, and people don't all piss on themselves with laughter, while being a black U.S. Senator, two-term state Senator, and constitutional law scholar, means you're "untested."

White privilege is being able to say that you support the words "under God" in the pledge of allegiance because "if it was good enough for the founding fathers, it's good enough for me," and not be immediately disqualified from holding office--since, after all, the pledge was written in the late 1800s and the "under God" part wasn't added until the 1950s--while believing that reading accused criminals and terrorists their rights (because, ya know, the Constitution, which you used to teach at a prestigious law school requires it), is a dangerous and silly idea only supported by mushy liberals.

White privilege is being able to be a gun enthusiast and not make people immediately scared of you.

White privilege is being able to have a husband who was a member of an extremist political party that wants your state to secede from the Union, and whose motto was "Alaska first," and no one questions your patriotism or that of your family, while if you're black and your spouse merely fails to come to a 9/11 memorial so she can be home with her kids on the first day of school, people immediately think she's being disrespectful.

White privilege is being able to make fun of community organizers and the work they do--like, among other things, fight for the right of women to vote, or for civil rights, or the 8-hour workday, or an end to child labor--and people think you're being pithy and tough, but if you merely question the experience of a small town mayor and 18-month governor with no foreign policy expertise beyond a class she took in college--you're somehow being mean or sexist.

White privilege is being able to convince white women who don't even agree with you on any substantive issue to vote for you and your running mate anyway, because all of a sudden your presence on the ticket has inspired confidence in these same white women, and made them give your party a "second look”.

White privilege is being able to fire people who didn't support your political campaigns and not be accused of abusing your power or being a typical politician who engages in favoritism, while being black and merely knowing some folks from the old-line political machines in Chicago means you must be corrupt.

White privilege is being able to attend churches over the years whose pastors say that people who voted for John Kerry or merely criticize George W. Bush are going to hell, and that the U.S. is an explicitly Christian nation and the job of Christians is to bring Christian theological principles into government, and who bring in speakers who say the conflict in the Middle East is God's punishment on Jews for rejecting Jesus, and everyone can still think you're just a good church-going Christian, but if you're black and friends with a black pastor who has noted (as have Colin Powell and the U.S. Department of Defense) that terrorist attacks are often the result of U.S. foreign policy and who talks about the history of racism and its effect on black people, you're an extremist who probably hates America.

White privilege is not knowing what the Bush Doctrine is when asked by a reporter, and then people get angry at the reporter for asking you such a "trick question," while being black and merely refusing to give one-word answers to the queries of Bill O'Reilly means you're dodging the question, or trying to seem overly intellectual and nuanced.

White privilege is being able to claim your experience as a POW has anything at all to do with your fitness for president, while being black and experiencing racism is, as Sarah Palin has referred to it a "light" burden.

And finally, white privilege is the only thing that could possibly allow someone to become president when he has voted with George W. Bush 90 percent of the time, even as unemployment is skyrocketing, people are losing their homes, inflation is rising, and the U.S. is increasingly isolated from world opinion, just because white voters aren't sure about that whole "change" thing. Ya know, it's just too vague and ill-defined, unlike, say, four more years of the same, which is very concrete and certain…

White privilege is, in short, the problem.

Post Turtle

While suturing a cut on the hand of a 75-year-old rancher, who's hand was caught in the gate while working cattle, the doctor struck up a conversation with the old man.

Eventually the topic got around to Sarah Palin and her bid for vice president. The old rancher said, "Well, ya know, Palin is a 'Post Turtle'."

Not being familiar with the term, the doctor asked him what a 'Post Turtle' was.

The old rancher said, "When you're driving down a country road you come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top, that's a 'Post Turtle'."

The old rancher saw the puzzled look on the doctor's face so he continued to explain. "You know she didn't get up there by herself, she don't belong up there, she don't know what to do while she's up there, and you just wonder what kind of dumb ass put her up there to begin with."

WWJD?

Or, as my friend Pam would say.....WWBD?

















"In a controversy the instant we feel anger we have already ceased striving for the truth, and have begun striving for ourselves."
--- Buddha

"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."
--- Jesus

Is McCain Palin's Bitch?

This is priceless...

"Shine" ...... Keith Urban

Listen to the lyrics of this song, they're amazing. They're words that touch my soul and my heart.

Walk On

It’s now been almost two-and-a-half years since my husband, John, died as a result of suicide. And it still hurts, it still seems like it never happened, it still seems like decades ago, and it still seems like it happened yesterday. And most of all, I still miss him and wish he were here with us. But the reality is that he’s not here, so that is why I work to help others who are also hurting because they have lost a friend or loved one, who themselves suffer from depression or mental illness, and to erase the stigma associated with suicide and depression.

This year I will once again walk in the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP) Out of the Darkness Walk on Saturday, October 11th. I am asking you to please sponsor me in the walk with whatever donation you feel you can afford. Every dollar helps and is tax deductible. Please follow this link to donate in John’s name and leave a note if you’d like on my donation page.

I also encourage you to forward this to any of your friends and family who you think would like to donate.

This year I am once again involved with the organizing of the Portland walk and it promises to be a wonderful event that celebrates the life of those who died as well as raise awareness and educate. The goal of this annual event is to raise funds for suicide prevention, erase the stigma surrounding suicide and its causes, to encourage those suffering from mental illness to seek treatment, and to show support for the families and friends of the 33,000 Americans who die by suicide and the 20 million people that suffer from depression each year.

Every 16 minutes someone in this country dies as a result of suicide. It is estimated that a suicide attempt is made every one minute. The 33,000 Americans who die by suicide each year is three times the number of people who die from aids, homicide, or cancer. These are completely unacceptable numbers; it means that we must do something now.

On the first anniversary of John’s death I wrote a heartfelt story of what it was like to get through that first year without him. If you would like to read it, go to my post on this blog titled 525,600 Minutes.

Thank you for your support, it means the world to me!

For a song that speaks to my heart and soul listen to the lyrics of "Shine" by Keith Urban that is posted here