Freud Time

Well...today it’s a year and a half since my world as I knew it fell apart. It’s such a strange feeling. It’s like it happened ages ago, it’s like it happened yesterday, it’s like it never happened at all. Sometimes I feel like I’m suffering from amnesia, that I can’t remember this one section of my life. Funny, in April 2004 the highest high of my life (not counting my children being born) happened and in May 2006 my lowest low happened. That seems like such a short time to a lot of people and they don’t always look at it as being “as bad” because it was only two years. But those two years were magical and we filled it with more than most people do who have decades together. It’s hard to explain, it’s just that those two years were like Cinderella and her Prince Charming. And the fact that we’d known each other since he was 17 and I was 16 made it all the more magical. Kind of funny, as I write the word ‘magical’ it dawns on me that magic is just an illusion. Wow...wonder what Freud would say. That little thought has me deep in thought. Well that’s redundant!! But at this hour of the morning and with little sleep last night, I couldn’t think of the right way of saying I’m being philosophical about my own use of words. I need caffeine.

(On May 6, 2006 my husband died as a result of suicide after a life-long battle with major depression...He is missed more than he could ever have imagined)