Black Friday

While the rest of the universe hopped out of bed at the crack of dawn for the mega sales, my son and I slept in, watched a little of the (Portland) Macy's parade on television, and then proceeded with breakfast. While I made breakfast, Tyler made mimosas. As I was getting the pile of scrambled eggs on the table, I put the orange juice back in the fridge. So halfway through breakfast when I asked for a refill, he reached over and grabbed the champagne and bottle of Cointreau, saying the Cointreau was fine, we didn’t need the orange juice. Good boy…I raised you right! In the afternoon it was off to the Tao of Tea on SE Belmont for some great food and tea with a friend. We then made our normal trek to Powell’s. Aaahh…Powell’s, a book lovers paradise. Next stop was Hobo’s for drinks and appetizers. Hobo’s is a great place in downtown Portland, a gay bar and restaurant with a wonderful piano player. A few drinks later we walk a few doors down to Darcelle’s for the 10:30p drag show. What fun! The show was fun, Darcelle (photo on right) was funny and watching the Mormon’s get drunk and try to seduce the strippers was hilarious. We then hailed a cab and headed home. And people think Black Friday is all about shopping. Ha!!

Thankful

I’ve always had a tradition with my kids on Thanksgiving Day that while at the table we each tell what we’re thankful for. It sounds cheesy, but it’s nice. Although I always try to tell the people in my life how much they mean to me, I want to take this time to tell them again.

I’m thankful for my family…my children, Tyler and Erika, for being even more than I could have ever hoped for. They are my light and my rock. I honestly don’t know what I would do without them; my father Maurice, (“Mo”); my brother Tom; my baby sister Staci and her family, Don, Jackson and Anna.

I’m thankful for all of the incredible friends I have who have been through a lot with me and have given me the support, love and hugs I’ve needed.

I’m thankful that I live in a city that I consider home, and to me is the best place a person could live.

I’m thankful that although I realized that life is short, I was able to experience true love and learn the full meaning of love and romance.

I’m thankful for a warm place to go home to and a warm meal. I wish everyone could have that.

I am blessed…and I am thankful.

“In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit.”—Albert Schweitzer

Some Favorites

Erika and Ashley.
This was part of a video they made that truly makes me laugh.














Tyler, Erika and Ashley in lobby of my Philly apartment.














Tyler with Mario, the keeper of a castle in Tuscany.
Mario was so classic. Loved him! At the time we were there he had worked for the family for more than 50 years. Mind you...Tyler is six feet tall; you can imagine how small of a guy Mario is!



















The Brits are so polite!
This was on the top of a door that was very low.














When your brother spends ten days with you, this is what he leaves.
It's a wonder he has any lungs left.













When your brother spends ten days with you, this is what he ALSO leaves...
beautiful photos to remember the time together.


















Does anyone know what this is?
We saw it on the beach but can't figure out what it is/was.














Tyler took the red-eye to Philly to see Erika.
He took a nap to catch up on some missed sleep; when he awoke, this is what he found.
It's so nice to have a big sister who loves to bake!



















Coffee and cigarettes.
I send them outside to indulge in their nasty habit but it doesn't stop them.
Even on Christmas morning.












I love this...Erika's photo with some of her treasures.


















Tyler setting up the "tripod" for a shot of mum and son at the coast.














Tyler and Erika in Philly.
Any guesses on which one lives in the desert sunshine and which one lives in the east coast city?









Erika feeding the furry coo. She took some time away from college and lived in Europe.
This is while living in Edinburgh, Scotland.
One of the gifts she sent me after this was a small stuffed coo. She hollowed out the bum of the coo and stuffed a small bottle of Scottish Whiskey inside.
My daughter the smuggler. You gotta love her!














Tyler and Chelsea at Cannon Beach, Oregon.












Yes, Virginia, it sometimes snows in Portland.
We get very excited.
Some get very frightened.
Sometimes the city shuts down.
This is amusing to a girl who grew up in the midwest.

















Sunset at Arch Cape, Oregon coast.











Tyler and his harem.
The boy is always surrounded by a bevy of beauties!











Strawberry Fields in Central Park.
On May 14, 2006 we left John's ashes here.
He was a huge John Lennon fan so we thought this an appropriate place for his final resting place.
It was Erika's idea to go to Central Park and it grew from there. It was a nice touch that someone left a photo of Lennon and a guy was playing his guitar and singing Lennon songs that day.


There are some of his ashes outside his office window at the College of Staten Island, under a tree which he called "our tree".
I think John would be happy.












While browsing the Internet and becoming sidetracked (oh not ME!), I find a photo on a professional site of Erika putting up posters in Montreal.
Remember...someone, somewhere, is always watching you. Phone call for Mr. George Orwell.....!
















Passe Muraille (Paris)

Some Little Things That Make Me Laugh...

Along the coast we saw several billboards saying "Porn Hurts Everyone". They were next to adult shops and each had a different picture. This one is the family inside a teardrop. Another one had a child running from a man with his arms stretched out as though he were going for the child. We thought they were so absurd that we finally had to stop and snap a photo of one of them.

A garage we passed coming home from the coast. Tom said that if Dave is too busy, he can give him a call. That's my brother!















Poor Connecticut





















Yes, there IS a pill for everything!























Can someone please hurry and finish off this checklist?


















On a London street corner. I guess it's for us Yanks who need reminding.















What's on YOUR keychain?














Blood on their hands. Code Pink confronting Condi Rice.














You just gotta love it!





















































Be careful what you wish for!

Harry and Hermoine

My adorable and loving niece and nephew, Anna and Jackson Percy. On October 31, 2007 they were known as Harry and Hermione.



This is a post that was moved from a previous site. These comments were posted to the other site:

Auntie Karen -

I really love the picture you left on there of us. I hope you're having a nice time. Your blog is really nice.

Love, Anna

Auntie Karen -

Like the cool website! It has cool pictures. I like the one that says "Please Mind Your Head".

Love, Jackson

Portland Rain

A few weeks ago this was the scene from my balcony. The sun was trying to come through the rain and fog and I thought it was beautiful.

Blast from the Past

My son went to an 80's party this weekend. This is him in full 80's regalia. From a guy born in the middle of the 80's!

The Man Incognito

An email my daughter sent in July 2005 that I read again this morning. She makes me laugh each time she tells a story. My hope is that one day she will write a book with the stories of her life. I love you, Erika!

Here is her thoughts on a college degree...

For the past 5 years I have heard the phrase, "once you get that degree,
once you get that college degree." That magical piece of paper, that ticket
to some secret underworld.

As I sit on my bed at 2:21 AM, brushing bugs off of my bed, itching the five
bug bites on my arm until they bleed and desperately sending emails to
participate in psychology research studies, I can't help but think...
the education system is pretty much The Man incognito. He has been doing it
for centuries, in many different guises...dangling the American dream in
front of our noses, luring us in with empty promises and making us think
with each step we are getting closer. In reality, we are all just hamsters
on little wheels running in the Cage of Capitalism. And the education system
is just one more money making scheme.

Freud Time

Well...today it’s a year and a half since my world as I knew it fell apart. It’s such a strange feeling. It’s like it happened ages ago, it’s like it happened yesterday, it’s like it never happened at all. Sometimes I feel like I’m suffering from amnesia, that I can’t remember this one section of my life. Funny, in April 2004 the highest high of my life (not counting my children being born) happened and in May 2006 my lowest low happened. That seems like such a short time to a lot of people and they don’t always look at it as being “as bad” because it was only two years. But those two years were magical and we filled it with more than most people do who have decades together. It’s hard to explain, it’s just that those two years were like Cinderella and her Prince Charming. And the fact that we’d known each other since he was 17 and I was 16 made it all the more magical. Kind of funny, as I write the word ‘magical’ it dawns on me that magic is just an illusion. Wow...wonder what Freud would say. That little thought has me deep in thought. Well that’s redundant!! But at this hour of the morning and with little sleep last night, I couldn’t think of the right way of saying I’m being philosophical about my own use of words. I need caffeine.

(On May 6, 2006 my husband died as a result of suicide after a life-long battle with major depression...He is missed more than he could ever have imagined)

525,600 minutes

How do you measure a year? What does time mean? These are questions I’ve been asking myself recently. On May 6, 2006 my life as I knew it came crashing in around me in a split second. A police officer, questions, detectives, a medical examiner reading a note, a distraught child at your side, a call to another child out of state, calls to family, a stepchild, friends, a priest, a crematory. A funeral to plan years before I ever dreamed I’d need to.

Lately I find myself with a song in my head that I’ve always loved because it talked about the seasons of love, but now it means something completely different. Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes, how do you measure a year? How DO you measure a year, and what does it mean?

For me it has meant the “first” of everything: an anniversary, his birthday, my birthday, holidays, special anniversaries that only held meaning for the two of us, visits to places we once visited together. It has meant no one to share special moments with, no one to greet you when you walk in the door, no one walking in the door for you to greet with a hug and a kiss and a “how was your day”, no one to talk with about the world events and politics going on each day, the cell phone doesn’t ring with his number showing anymore, the text messages throughout the day saying “I love you” or “I miss you” are no longer there, the flowers he sent once a week are gone, the little “thinking of you” gifts and notes are no more. I miss holding hands in the movie theater, holding hands while walking down the street and kissing at the street corner while waiting for the light to change, the laughter and the smiles, the little sayings and habits. I miss waking up and saying good morning and going to sleep saying goodnight. I miss hearing “I love you” and I miss being held by the one I loved. I miss the daily poems he wrote for me and the songs we shared. Now I hear the songs and some days I cry and some days I smile and feel the warmth.

My life changed a year ago and my heart hasn’t felt the same. In the past year I’ve learned that I have a new way of life. New friendships have entered my life that I would not have, had my husband not died. I’ve become active in organizations that I never knew existed a year ago. I’ve relied on my friends and family in ways I never have in the past and without them I honestly don’t know where I’d be today. I wish my life hadn’t taken the road that it took 525,600 minutes ago, but at the same time I’m grateful and forever indebted to the friends and family who walked me through each one of those minutes. It hasn’t been easy but I’ve made it and I will continue. And hopefully I will be able to help another person who right now is wondering how they will make it through their next minute and the half million still to come.

As I try to make sense of the past year and try to understand what a year even means, I will do as the song says: “525,600 minutes, how do you measure a year…how about love…remember the love…measure in love.”

In memory of my husband, John
December 30, 1953 - May 6, 2006


This is a post that was moved from a previous site. These comments were posted to the other site:

artemesia said...

Beautiful post, Karen.

And you know that the loved one dies but the love does not die.

Your strength and devotion shine through every word of this. Heartbroken and inspiring words.

Diana said...

Your friends at PALINET are thinking about you and hoping for peace in you life.

Your words and the photos of John brought so many memories back for me...what a beautiful person. I miss him.

Cheryl Kaye Tardif... said...

I feel for you, Karen. I can feel the love you have for your husband. He was blessed, as were you, to have each other. Even for a short time.

When things seem darkest remember this: there is always light at the end of even the darkest tunnel. And with light comes hope.

Your friend,
Cheryl Kaye Tardif

September 2, 2008 10:25 AM