Candlelight and Tears

Tonight was the annual Candlelight Ceremony at the Peace House that my support group holds to honor our loved ones who died by suicide. It was a beautiful night…a sad night…an uplifting night. So many gathered among the Christmas decorations, the roaring fire and the candlelight to show our love and support for each other. There were songs sung by people with beautiful voices and poems read. There were tears shed as well as laughter and hugs. There were candles lit as each name was read.

I read two poems and the final poem of the night was hard for me, I cried through most of it. But the nice part is, no one in that room thought anything of it, they all know how it feels. A death by suicide is a horrible grief, but the wonderful people who support you are what get you through the day.

Here are the two poems I read…

Don’t Tell Me
Author unknown

Don’t tell me that you understand, don’t tell me that you know,
Don’t tell me that I will survive, how I will surely grow.
Don’t tell me this is just a test, that I am truly blessed,
That I am chosen for this task, apart from all the rest.
Don’t come at me with answers that can only come from me,
Don’t tell me how my grief will pass, that I will soon be free.
Don’t stand in pious judgment of the bonds I must untie,
Don’t tell me how to suffer, don’t tell me how to cry.
My life is filled with selfishness, my pain is all I see,
But I need you, I need your love, unconditionally.
Accept me in my ups and downs, I need someone to share,
Just hold my hand and let me cry, and say,
“My friend, I really do care.”


The Dance
written by Tony Arata


Looking back on the memory of The dance we shared ‘neath the stars alone
For a moment all the world was right
How could I have known that you’d ever say goodbye

And now I’m glad I didn’t know
The way it all would end, the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance, I could have missed the pain
But I’d of had to miss the dance

Holding you I held everything
For a moment wasn’t I a king
But if I’d only known how the king would fall
Hey who’s to say you know, I might have chanced it all

And now I’m glad I didn’t know
The way it all would end, the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance, I could have missed the pain
But I’d of had to miss the dance

Yes, my life is better left to chance
I could have missed the pain
But I’d of had to miss the dance.

---John, thank you for giving me the dance I always dreamed of---

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LeeAnne said...

I'm so glad you have your group... a group you never wanted to join but there you are.

"The Dance" has always been one of my most favorite Garth Brooks songs. Sniff sniff.

Big hugs to you.