channeling patsy cline

The Wedding – June 19, 2010

2010-07-05T00:00:00.001-07:00

Erika's bridesmen getting ready

Mike assists Tyler with his bow-tie as Byron supervises

Mike pinning Erika's flowers on her dress

Tyler, Byron and Mike arranging and pinning the flowers onto the back of her dress

The finished product

Tyler assisting Erika with her shoes

Brother and sister share a quiet moment

The beautiful bride

I will...

The second line after the ceremony, led by a New Orleans Brass Band

The second line

First dance

Byron, Tyler, Erika, Ashley

Tyler and Christian

Mother of the Bride

Croquembouche (custard and chocolate filled), Miniature Cupcakes (cake rings for the brides attendants),

King Cake for the groom, and Macaroons

Macroons

Husband and wife enjoy some Croquembrouche

Chair flowers

Flowers in mason jars wrapped in lace fabric. Erika's friends made all of the flower arrangements, bouquets, everything flower related. A hotel suite was turned into a flower shop for a day

The gazebo was transformed into a photo booth. Hats, feather boas, mustaches-on-a-stick, etc. were props as guests took polaroid photos. The photos were hung around the parameter of the gazebo with clothespins. Birds and birdcages were a theme throughout the garden and the house.

Erika and one of her bridesmen, Mike, in the photo booth.

Is there a more beautiful woman anywhere?

Erika (wearing Byron's glasses) and Byron in the photo booth

Tyler, the Maître d'Honneur, giving a toast to the bride and groom

The Rehearsal Party – June 18, 2010

2010-07-04T23:59:00.000-07:00

The Benachi House

Tyler and Christian on the front porch of The Benachi House

The rehearsal dinner/party

Brady on the harmonica

Brady, Jeff, Conan

Brady, Jeff, Conan, Andy

Conan and Michael

Conan singing the song he wrote for Erika

Erika's loving reaction to her song

Byron belting out the blues

Jeff and Conan

Brady and Erika

New Orleans – June 2010

2010-07-04T21:21:00.001-07:00

Our home for a week

The Bienville House -- a beautiful little boutique hotel on Decatur Street

View of the pool from our hotel balcony.

There isn't a fog, it's the camera lense fogging up from the humidity. New Orleans is beautiful, but that humidity....

Wonderful used bookstore down the street from our hotel.

Once again, Tyler buys more books than will fit in his suitcase.

The green line streetcar.

We took this to the Garden District to see the great New Orleans mansions

Inside the streetcar.

The seat backs slide so that when the car goes in the opposite direction, you're always facing forward

Erika receiving her pre-wedding manicure and pedicure

Bourbon Street. Where every night is a party.

Incredible Jazz Pub

Fritzel's European Jazz Pub.The first place in the United States to

serve Jägermeister

Marie LaVeau, the queen of VooDoo

Had my Tarot Cards read. Should be a good year.

Nuff said

Jazz at Irvin Mayfield's Jazz Playhouse at the Royal Sonesta Hotel

The Cemeteries. Beautiful. Sad.

Fishing for Pot and Beer

2010-04-10T11:45:00.000-07:00

Last night, downtown: homeless man on the corner of SW Broadway and Morrison with a mini-fishing pole made of a stick, string, and a paper cup.

Sign reads "fishing for pot and beer".

I was tempted to give him a buck if he let me take his picture.

Remembering a Beautiful Woman

2010-03-11T20:03:00.000-08:00

Today the world lost a beautiful woman. A woman who loved life and lived it to its fullest. A woman who always saw the beauty in life and in everyone she came in contact with. A woman who saw the good in people, who touched your arm or held your hand when she talked to you, who had a warm smile and an even warmer heart.

I first met her in the spring of 1974 when I began to date her youngest son and we became instant friends. She taught me so much about life, both with her wisdom and by her example. Her favorite phrase was “and this too shall pass” – a saying that sometimes frustrated me because at times I was too upset to think that it would ever pass. But most of the time it gave me comfort because I knew she was right.

This is the woman who was always here for me, always a beautiful light in dark times, a helping hand in times of need, and always – always – my friend. When I had surgery she was the one who took care of my kids and brought meals to us. When I, or one of the kids, were sick she was the one jumping in to take care of us with meals, medication, hugs, you name it. If she thought it would help, she was there to offer before we could ask.

When we told her that I was pregnant with our first child she let out a scream, fell to her knees in front of me and hugged me like I’ve never been hugged. Three years later when I was pregnant with her second grandchild, she let out that same joyous scream and said she couldn’t believe she could be so lucky to have another grandchild. After each of those births, guess who was once again there with meals. Yes, you guessed right. If Betty Crocker and Martha Stewart had a child, she would be that child.

She is the mother that everyone hoped for, the grandmother every child wished for, and the wife that every man hoped to find. In August she would have celebrated 70 years married to the man of her dreams. By law she was my mother-in-law but in my heart she was my mother. I told her my feelings often and she told me just as often that I was the daughter she never had. For the past 35 years we had a special bond and tonight I am missing her more than words can express. After three hours of crying I turned on the television to take my mind off my grief. These words were on the television screen…”and this too shall pass”. It was a political show, I haven’t a clue what they had been talking about, but I know who was sending me the message. And it made me smile through my tears.

Today the world lost a beautiful woman. A world that is a better place because she was here.

Margaret “Peg” Barratt – you will be missed.

1917 - 2010

"The Girl Who Fell from the Sky"

2010-02-20T15:14:00.000-08:00

You must read this book. You must.

Last night I went to Powell’s Bookstore to hear Heidi Durrow talk about her debut novel, “The Girl Who Fell From The Sky”. It was the first time in three years that I cried in front of strangers. And it was because I identified with the character Rachel. Not the story of her mixed roots, but of the grief that she keeps silent and how it affects her life. When Rachel says, “I am not the new girl. But I will pretend.”, it hit me hard. I know that feeling. As I left the bookstore I heard the streetcar pulling up to my stop but I needed to walk. I crossed the street, avoiding the streetcar, and the driver who recognized me as a regular waited. I waved and walked on the other side of the street. I needed the night air and the noise spilling out of the jazz club and of the people out on a Friday night to fill my head with other thoughts. This morning I woke up, grabbed the book from the table and didn’t leave my reading chair until I had finished it. I haven’t done that in a very long time.

Heidi Durrow won the Bellwether Prize for fiction because of the social issues of the book. But there is much more to the story. “The Girl Who Fell From the Sky” is a story of life, love, grief, survival, and learning about your past as well as your future.

Rachel talks of a blue glass bottle with a cork top that she keeps inside of her, where she puts all of her sadness and anger. I like that, and I realized that I need to find my own blue glass bottle for those things instead of the corner of my heart where they have been stored for almost four years. Rachel goes to a blues club to hear Etta James sing, she has never heard the blues before, and has a beautiful way of describing them: “The bottle is where everything sad or mean or confusing can go. And the blues – it’s like that bottle. But in the bottle there’s a seed that you let grow. Even in the bottle it can grow big and green. It’s full of those feelings that are in there, but beautiful and growing too.” That, to me is beautiful. And I will remember that analogy when I go to the blues fest this summer.

I love it when I hear just one line of a conversation and nothing else...

2009-11-22T07:43:00.000-08:00

"Does anyone need the prostitute outfit?"

Airfare to Great Britain, anyone?

2009-09-12T16:33:00.000-07:00

April 27 – Corner of SW 10th & Alder

Elderly homeless man holding a passport in the air with right hand, left hand is holding a cardboard sign that reads “Need Airfare to Great Britain – Anything Helps”.

Well no shit…I also want airfare to Great Britain.

Santa Cancelled Due to Snow

2009-09-12T16:29:00.001-07:00

December 14 –

Today it snowed and my beautiful city went into panic mode. I, on the other hand, went to the mall.

There sits Santa’s throne. Majestic. Empty. With a sign that read “due to inclement weather, Santa will not be here today”.

Only in Portland would Santa be cancelled because of snow. A bit ironic. Hope the kids don’t pick up on this one.

More Irony

2009-09-12T15:47:00.000-07:00

This, from the same people who balk at a president telling kids to set goals and to stay in school. A woman on our local news actually cried...yes, cried tears...because her child would be "subjected to this propaganda". E.E. Cummings said, "the most wasted of all days is one without laughter". Thanks to people like this...I'm not wasting a single day.

The Water Nazi

2009-06-13T13:13:00.000-07:00

We recently had a heat wave in Portland – 90 degrees and humid – definitely not normal for early June in our city. As I waited at the Seattle’s Best Café inside the downtown Border’s for my iced coffee, a young woman came to the counter and politely asked for a glass of water.

“May I please have a glass of water?”

“We’re not allowed to give out water.”

“Can I pay for a glass of water?”

“We can’t do that, you have to buy a bottle of water from over there,” pointing to a wicker basket display of room temperature water, “unless you buy food.”

The girl and I both looked at the display, knowing that wasn’t going to do the trick, and she didn’t want (or couldn’t afford) food. I was about to tell them I want water with my iced coffee when the barista said “you can go to Starbucks down the street, they will give you water.”

The girl left. She was much nicer than I would have been in the same situation. I just looked at the barista and stated what she already knew: Seattle’s Best is owned by Starbucks.

Sadness on a Bathroom Wall

2009-06-13T12:56:00.000-07:00

The fun part about using public restrooms are the things you read on the wall, but this one made me very sad --

"too gay to live, too young to die"

I sat on that porcelain throne in the little stall and read this short sentence several times. I wanted to cry for this obviously young woman who wrote what her heart felt. I still think about her and hope she is ok.

Paradox

2009-03-31T21:45:00.000-07:00

While waiting for the bus outside of Powell's I glance across the street at Red Light and see this sign.
Does anyone else see the humor?

Marriage is not an institution. It's a relationship.

2009-03-29T23:02:00.000-07:00

Mack talking with Jesus ...

Jesus: "I don't create institutions -- never have, never will."
Mack: "What about the institution of marriage?"
Jesus: "Marriage is not an institution. It's a relationship." Jesus paused, his voice steady and patient. "Like I said, I don't create institutions; that's an occupation for those who want to play God."

-- from "The Shack" by William Paul Young

2009-03-18T19:41:00.000-07:00

Get out there and
GET peace,
THINK peace,
LIVE peace and
BREATHE PEACE,
and you'll get it as soon as you like."

-- John Lennon

2009-03-18T19:37:00.001-07:00

Happy St. Patrick's Day...

2009-03-16T22:42:00.000-07:00

...when everyone is Irish!

A New Hope for Our Country

2009-01-20T19:09:00.000-08:00

"Today I say to you that the challenges we face are real. They are serious and they are many. They will not be met easily or in a short span of time. But know this, America — they will be met.

On this day, we gather because we have chosen hope over fear, unity of purpose over conflict and discord.

On this day, we come to proclaim an end to the petty grievances and false promises, the recriminations and worn out dogmas, that for far too long have strangled our politics.

We remain a young nation, but in the words of Scripture, the time has come to set aside childish things. The time has come to reaffirm our enduring spirit; to choose our better history; to carry forward that precious gift, that noble idea, passed on from generation to generation: the God-given promise that all are equal, all are free, and all deserve a chance to pursue their full measure of happiness."

-- excerpt from President Barack Obama's inaugural speech, January 20, 2009

Barack Obama took the oath of office using the Bible that Abraham Lincoln used at his inauguration in 1871.

Love and Friendship

Hollywood casting couldn't find a more beautiful couple

Malia and Sasha...adorable

The First Family
January 20, 2009

Vice President Joe Biden and Dr. Jill Biden

President and Mrs. Obama

Buh Bye!!!
Wish I could say we'll miss you, but....we won't!

2009-01-19T09:57:00.000-08:00

I look to a day when people will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character.

-- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Real Estate Downfall

2008-11-22T19:46:00.001-08:00

I'm going to miss my granite countertops...pergo floors...stainless steel appliances. Brilliant!

Yes We Can......Yes We Did!

2008-11-04T22:27:00.000-08:00

Tonight America spoke, and she spoke loud and clear. Tonight history was made like it's never been made before. I plan to write more later, but could not resist a short post to congratulate my new president...President Barack Obama...number 44.

American Prayer

2008-11-01T13:14:00.001-07:00

Dave Stewart co-wrote this beautiful song with Bono. Stewart says, "When I set out to make a video for the new version of this song, I wanted to honor all of those millions of people, especially young people, who are, for the first time, feeling empowered to voice their beliefs. I wanted to capture how Obama's message of change has echoed across the broad fabric of what is America."

It's a beautiful song that you won't be able to forget.

What If....

2008-10-31T17:36:00.000-07:00

What if Obama was white and McCain were Black -- an interesting discussion.

Consider the following:

What if the Obama’s had paraded five children across the stage, including a three month old infant and an unwed, pregnant teenage daughter?

What if John McCain was a former president of the Harvard Law Review?

What if Barack Obama finished fifth from the bottom of his graduating class?

What if McCain had only married once, and Obama was a divorcee?

What if Obama was the candidate who left his first wife after a severe disfiguring car accident?

What if Obama had met his second wife in a bar and had a long affair while he was still married?

What if Michelle Obama was the wife who not only became addicted to painkillers but also acquired them illegally through her charitable organization?

What if Cindy McCain had graduated from Harvard?

What if Obama had been a member of the Keating Five? (The Keating Five were five United States Senators accused of corruption in 1989, igniting a major political scandal as part of the larger Saving and Loan crisis of the late 1980s and early 1990s)

What if McCain was a more charismatic, eloquent speaker than Obama?

What if Obama was the one who had military experience that included discipline problems and a record of crashing seven planes?

What if Obama was the one who was known to display publicly, on many occasions, a serious anger management problem?

What if Michelle Obama's family had made their fortune from beer distribution?

What if the Obama’s had adopted a white child?

You could easily add to this list. If these questions reflected reality, do you really believe the election numbers would be as close as they are?

This is what racism does. It covers up, rationalizes and minimizes positive qualities in one candidate and emphasizes negative qualities in another when there is a color difference.

Educational Background:

Barack Obama:
Columbia University - B.A. Political Science with a Specialization in International Relations.
Harvard - Juris Doctor (J.D.) Magna Cum Laude

Joseph Biden:
University of Delaware - B.A. in History and B.A. in Political Science.
Syracuse University College of Law - Juris Doctor (J.D.)

vs.

John McCain:
United States Naval Academy - Class rank: 894 of 899

Sarah Palin:
Hawaii Pacific University - 1 semester
North Idaho College - 2 semesters - general study
University of Idaho - 2 semesters - journalism
Matanuska-Susitna College - 1 semester
University of Idaho - 3 semesters - B.A. in Journalism

Education isn't everything, but this is about the two highest offices in the land as well as our standing in the world. There has to be a reason that, in spite of the above, we are where we are today. What if things were switched around ... think about it. Would the country's collective point of view be different? Could racism be the culprit? You make the call. If the races were reversed I don't think we would even have to hold an election. Do you?

"Dear Red States": A Breakup Letter From The Blue States

2008-10-30T21:24:00.000-07:00

Dear Red States,

We've decided we're leaving. We intend to form our own country, and we're taking the other Blue States with us. In case you aren't aware, that includes Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and all of the Northeast. We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation, and especially to the people of the new country of New California.

To sum up briefly:
We get stem cell research and the best beaches. You get all the slave states.
We get Elliot Spitzer. You get Ken Lay.
We get the Statue of Liberty. You get Dollywood.
We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom.
We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss.
We get 85 percent of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get Alabama.
We get two-thirds of the tax revenue. You get to make the red states pay their fair share.

Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of single moms. Please be aware that Nuevo California will be pro-choice and anti-war, and we're going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at once. If you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals. They have kids they're apparently willing to send to their deaths willy-nilly, and they don't care if you don't show pictures of their children's caskets coming home. We do wish you success in Iraq, and hope that the WMDs turn up, but we're not willing to spend our resources and our lives on that pipe dream.

With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80 percent of the country's fresh water, 92 percent of the nation's fresh fruit, 95 percent of America's quality wines (you can serve French wines at state dinners), 90 percent of all cheese, 90 percent of the high tech industry, most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living redwoods/sequoias/condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools plus Harvard, Yale, Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT.

With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with 88 percent of all obese Americans (and their projected health care costs), 92 percent of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100 percent of the tornadoes, 90 percent of the hurricanes, 99 percent of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100 percent of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia.

We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you.

Additionally, 38 percent of those in the Red states believe Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale, 62 percent believe life is sacred unless we're discussing the death penalty or gun laws, 44 percent say that evolution is only a theory, 53 percent that Saddam was involved in 9/11 and 61 percent of you crazy bastards believe you are people with higher morals then we lefties.

By the way, we're taking the good pot, too. You can have that dirt weed they grow in Mexico.

Peace Out,
The Blue States

My book club is looking for a new selection, maybe this will do...

2008-10-26T13:06:00.000-07:00

You Betcha...Doggonit...Say It Ain't So Joe

2008-10-24T21:17:00.001-07:00

You know it's bad when the Russian's are mocking Palin. Vlad and Boris sing "A Song for Sarah". Hilarious!

Dancing With The Candidates

2008-10-24T21:01:00.001-07:00

2008-10-23T20:31:00.001-07:00

Things that made me laugh today...

2008-10-23T20:23:00.000-07:00

"From the great Blarney Stone to the green hills of Tara, there's no one as Irish as Barack Obama"

2008-10-18T12:22:00.001-07:00

Ah yes, another example of why I'm proud to be Irish. Ok, half Irish. About three years ago we contemplated moving to Ireland, I even bought a book on tips about moving to Ireland. But we thought better of it; family would be too far away, too hard to jump on a plane and be there in a couple of hours whenever we wanted. I still long for nights of being in those old-world pubs drinking good beer and singing Irish tunes, snuggled up in a good wool sweater. Then there's that other part of being snuggled up to a cute Irish lad in a good wool sweater. And damn it, if this election goes awry I may just hop on the next boat across the pond.

The song was written by Hardy Drew and the Nancy Boys, aka The Corrigan Brothers, of Ireland. Shay Black is singing it in this piece and seems to be getting all the credit for the song. Check out Hardy Drew and the Nancy Boys, you'll love them. Come on, you have to love a group with that name!

2008-10-16T20:00:00.000-07:00

McCain plays grab ass with Obama. Granted, Obama is hot. But really, control yourself Johnny boy.

2008-10-12T13:28:00.000-07:00

Hemp is a Weed...Bush is a Dope

Buy This Man a Drink.....

2008-10-07T19:32:00.001-07:00

Things My Friends Say...

2008-10-05T22:01:00.000-07:00

Me, in Macy's tonight while talking to Pam on the phone. I'm getting frustrated trying to find the stupid escalator to go downstairs; every corner I turned had escalators that were coming toward me.

Me: "I'm standing here looking at two escalators and they're both coming at me."

Her: “Sounds like a metaphor for life."

You Betcha...I'm All Mavericky!

2008-10-03T18:26:00.000-07:00

You'll need to click on the image to see it clearly. Trust me, it's funny. This woman gives us so much material that it's hard to stop.

Oh What a Difference a Day Makes….

2008-10-02T21:01:00.000-07:00

Ok, so it’s eight years, not a day.
When Al Gore was thin and Bill Clinton was not.
When gas prices were, on average, 89⊄ a gallon.

Eight flippin' years later...

.

Things that make you say hmmmm...

Bill Clinton -- $230 billion dollar surplus (fiscal year 2000)
George W. Bush -- $10 trillion deficit (as of September 30, 2008)
Every president from Truman on have reduced the gross federal debt except Reagan and the Bushes

Mr. Newman, we will miss you

2008-09-27T09:32:00.000-07:00

This morning the very sad news came that Paul Newman lost his battle with cancer. A few weeks ago the story was going around that he was on his deathbed and the news quickly spread at work; everyone was walking around asking, “Have you heard about Paul Newman? This is so sad, I can’t believe it”. Today he died and I miss that I can’t share this sadness with my co-workers. That’s one of the difficulties of living alone – you only have yourself to talk to. Ok, so that’s another whole blog entry for another day.

Paul Newman has always been one of my favorite actors; not only for his talent, but also for the social, political and philanthropic stance he took both in his personal life and in his movies. Something that he said that mirrors my own beliefs: “A man can only be judged by his actions, and not by his good intentions or his beliefs.” The list of my favorite movies that he starred in and directed is too long to list, but when I hear his name the movies that immediately come to mind are of course Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, The Verdict, The Sting, Cool Hand Luke, Absence of Malice, The Hustler. The list goes on and on. Even Message in a Bottle, that cheesy film that I couldn’t believe I watched even after reading the book – you had to love his character Dodge, what a sweet old guy.

I remember going to the theater with my friends to see Butch Cassidy and The Sundance Kid. We swooned through every minute of watching these two beautiful men on screen. I’ll never forget the last scene of the movie when they ran out shooting and the frame froze and you knew both characters died in the gun battle. Every female in the theater let out a collective cry of “noooooo!” I think I shed a tear.

Something else that I loved about Paul Newman is his long and loving marriage to Joanne Woodward. They were married nearly 51 years. Fifty-one years! And even after all those years together they were still in love, still romantic, still unable to hide their physical and sexual attraction to each other. We could all take a lesson from those two. I love this quote from Joanne Woodward: "Being married to Paul is being married to the most considerate, romantic man." My heart goes out to her today.

Paul Leonard Newman…may you rest in peace.

January 26, 1925 – September 26, 2008

This is Your Nation on White Privilege

2008-09-25T22:02:00.001-07:00

~~ by Tim Wise

For those who still can't grasp the concept of white privilege, or who are constantly looking for some easy-to-understand examples of it, perhaps this list will help.

White privilege is when you can get pregnant at seventeen like Bristol Palin and everyone is quick to insist that your life and that of your family is a personal matter, and that no one has a right to judge you or your parents, because "every family has challenges," even as black and Latino families with similar "challenges" are regularly typified as irresponsible, pathological and arbiters of social decay.

White privilege is when you can call yourself a "fuckin' redneck," like Bristol Palin's boyfriend does, and talk about how if anyone messes with you, you'll "kick their fuckin' ass, and talk about how you like to "shoot shit" for fun, and still be viewed as a responsible, all-American boy (and a great son-in-law to be) rather than a thug.

White privilege is when you can attend four different colleges in six years like Sarah Palin did (one of which you basically failed out of, then returned to after making up some coursework at a community college), and no one questions your intelligence or commitment to achievement, whereas a person of color who did this would be viewed as unfit for college, and probably someone who only got in in the first place because of affirmative action.

White privilege is when you can claim that being mayor of a town smaller than most medium-sized colleges, and then Governor of a state with about the same number of people as the lower fifth of the island of Manhattan, makes you ready to potentially be president, and people don't all piss on themselves with laughter, while being a black U.S. Senator, two-term state Senator, and constitutional law scholar, means you're "untested."

White privilege is being able to say that you support the words "under God" in the pledge of allegiance because "if it was good enough for the founding fathers, it's good enough for me," and not be immediately disqualified from holding office--since, after all, the pledge was written in the late 1800s and the "under God" part wasn't added until the 1950s--while believing that reading accused criminals and terrorists their rights (because, ya know, the Constitution, which you used to teach at a prestigious law school requires it), is a dangerous and silly idea only supported by mushy liberals.

White privilege is being able to be a gun enthusiast and not make people immediately scared of you.

White privilege is being able to have a husband who was a member of an extremist political party that wants your state to secede from the Union, and whose motto was "Alaska first," and no one questions your patriotism or that of your family, while if you're black and your spouse merely fails to come to a 9/11 memorial so she can be home with her kids on the first day of school, people immediately think she's being disrespectful.

White privilege is being able to make fun of community organizers and the work they do--like, among other things, fight for the right of women to vote, or for civil rights, or the 8-hour workday, or an end to child labor--and people think you're being pithy and tough, but if you merely question the experience of a small town mayor and 18-month governor with no foreign policy expertise beyond a class she took in college--you're somehow being mean or sexist.

White privilege is being able to convince white women who don't even agree with you on any substantive issue to vote for you and your running mate anyway, because all of a sudden your presence on the ticket has inspired confidence in these same white women, and made them give your party a "second look”.

White privilege is being able to fire people who didn't support your political campaigns and not be accused of abusing your power or being a typical politician who engages in favoritism, while being black and merely knowing some folks from the old-line political machines in Chicago means you must be corrupt.

White privilege is being able to attend churches over the years whose pastors say that people who voted for John Kerry or merely criticize George W. Bush are going to hell, and that the U.S. is an explicitly Christian nation and the job of Christians is to bring Christian theological principles into government, and who bring in speakers who say the conflict in the Middle East is God's punishment on Jews for rejecting Jesus, and everyone can still think you're just a good church-going Christian, but if you're black and friends with a black pastor who has noted (as have Colin Powell and the U.S. Department of Defense) that terrorist attacks are often the result of U.S. foreign policy and who talks about the history of racism and its effect on black people, you're an extremist who probably hates America.

White privilege is not knowing what the Bush Doctrine is when asked by a reporter, and then people get angry at the reporter for asking you such a "trick question," while being black and merely refusing to give one-word answers to the queries of Bill O'Reilly means you're dodging the question, or trying to seem overly intellectual and nuanced.

White privilege is being able to claim your experience as a POW has anything at all to do with your fitness for president, while being black and experiencing racism is, as Sarah Palin has referred to it a "light" burden.

And finally, white privilege is the only thing that could possibly allow someone to become president when he has voted with George W. Bush 90 percent of the time, even as unemployment is skyrocketing, people are losing their homes, inflation is rising, and the U.S. is increasingly isolated from world opinion, just because white voters aren't sure about that whole "change" thing. Ya know, it's just too vague and ill-defined, unlike, say, four more years of the same, which is very concrete and certain…

White privilege is, in short, the problem.

Post Turtle

2008-09-20T23:37:00.000-07:00

While suturing a cut on the hand of a 75-year-old rancher, who's hand was caught in the gate while working cattle, the doctor struck up a conversation with the old man.

Eventually the topic got around to Sarah Palin and her bid for vice president. The old rancher said, "Well, ya know, Palin is a 'Post Turtle'."

Not being familiar with the term, the doctor asked him what a 'Post Turtle' was.

The old rancher said, "When you're driving down a country road you come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top, that's a 'Post Turtle'."

The old rancher saw the puzzled look on the doctor's face so he continued to explain. "You know she didn't get up there by herself, she don't belong up there, she don't know what to do while she's up there, and you just wonder what kind of dumb ass put her up there to begin with."

WWJD?

2008-09-14T08:44:00.000-07:00

Or, as my friend Pam would say.....WWBD?

"In a controversy the instant we feel anger we have already ceased striving for the truth, and have begun striving for ourselves."
--- Buddha

"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."
--- Jesus

Is McCain Palin's Bitch?

2008-09-04T13:38:00.001-07:00

This is priceless...

"Shine" ...... Keith Urban

2008-09-01T15:03:00.001-07:00

Listen to the lyrics of this song, they're amazing. They're words that touch my soul and my heart.

Walk On

2008-09-01T14:29:00.000-07:00

It’s now been almost two-and-a-half years since my husband, John, died as a result of suicide. And it still hurts, it still seems like it never happened, it still seems like decades ago, and it still seems like it happened yesterday. And most of all, I still miss him and wish he were here with us. But the reality is that he’s not here, so that is why I work to help others who are also hurting because they have lost a friend or loved one, who themselves suffer from depression or mental illness, and to erase the stigma associated with suicide and depression.

This year I will once again walk in the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP) Out of the Darkness Walk on Saturday, October 11th. I am asking you to please sponsor me in the walk with whatever donation you feel you can afford. Every dollar helps and is tax deductible. Please follow this link to donate in John’s name and leave a note if you’d like on my donation page.

I also encourage you to forward this to any of your friends and family who you think would like to donate.

This year I am once again involved with the organizing of the Portland walk and it promises to be a wonderful event that celebrates the life of those who died as well as raise awareness and educate. The goal of this annual event is to raise funds for suicide prevention, erase the stigma surrounding suicide and its causes, to encourage those suffering from mental illness to seek treatment, and to show support for the families and friends of the 33,000 Americans who die by suicide and the 20 million people that suffer from depression each year.

Every 16 minutes someone in this country dies as a result of suicide. It is estimated that a suicide attempt is made every one minute. The 33,000 Americans who die by suicide each year is three times the number of people who die from aids, homicide, or cancer. These are completely unacceptable numbers; it means that we must do something now.

On the first anniversary of John’s death I wrote a heartfelt story of what it was like to get through that first year without him. If you would like to read it, go to my post on this blog titled 525,600 Minutes.

Thank you for your support, it means the world to me!

For a song that speaks to my heart and soul listen to the lyrics of "Shine" by Keith Urban that is posted here

I Have A Dream ... August 28, 1963

2008-08-27T21:37:00.000-07:00

Forty-five years ago today Dr. Martin Luther King gave his famous “I Have A Dream” speech. Today Barack Obama accepted the nomination by the Democratic Party for President of the United States. Forty-five years. I’m excited that we’ve finally come to a day when equality has made this giant step. I’m also sad that it took forty-five years to get here. But I have hope that this is just the beginning and people of all races, religions, and economic status will come together and be seen as one.

I hope you take a few minutes to read all of Dr. King’s speech; it’s really incredible. This is a portion of it, probably the most famous portion, and the part that moves us the most.

I say to you today, my friends, so even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream. I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: “We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal.”

I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood.

I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a state sweltering with the heat of injustice, sweltering with the heat of oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice.

I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.

I have a dream today. I have a dream that one day, down in Alabama, with its vicious racists, with its governor having his lips dripping with the words of interposition and nullification; one day right there in Alabama, little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls as sisters and brothers.

I have a dream today. I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight, and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed, and all flesh shall see it together. This is our hope.

This is the faith that I go back to the South with. With this faith we will be able to hew out of the mountain of despair a stone of hope. With this faith we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our nation into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood. With this faith we will be able to work together, to pray together, to struggle together, to go to jail together, to stand up for freedom together, knowing that we will be free one day.

This will be the day when all of God's children will be able to sing with a new meaning, "My country, 'tis of thee, sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing. Land where my fathers died, land of the pilgrim's pride, from every mountainside, let freedom ring." And if America is to be a great nation this must become true.

So let freedom ring from the prodigious hilltops of New Hampshire. Let freedom ring from the mighty mountains of New York. Let freedom ring from the heightening Alleghenies of Pennsylvania!

Let freedom ring from the snowcapped Rockies of Colorado!

Let freedom ring from the curvaceous slopes of California!

But not only that; let freedom ring from Stone Mountain of Georgia!

Let freedom ring from Lookout Mountain of Tennessee!

Let freedom ring from every hill and molehill of Mississippi.

From every mountainside, let freedom ring.

And when this happens, when we allow freedom to ring, when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God's children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual, "Free at last! Free at last! Thank God Almighty, we are free at last!"

Nothing Could Be More True....Trust Me

2008-08-25T21:13:00.000-07:00

"It may be unfair, but what happens in a few days, sometimes even a single day, can change the course of a whole lifetime..."

— Khaled Hosseini

Oh Keith...you ARE my hero

2008-08-23T09:38:00.001-07:00

Each time that Keith Olbermann gives one of his special comments I find myself wanting to put a blood pressure cuff on him and watch that little needle burst out of it's casing. And then I want to be there to hand him a nice strong martini.

Another great one from my little crush...."Senator, grow up!"

A Girl on Her Bike

2008-08-07T19:22:00.000-07:00

Today I left work at noon to run a couple of errands then come home to pack for my trip tomorrow to Philly. Yes, tomorrow I get to see my beautiful kids and meet my future son-in-law! I wanted to get a head start on my day, because as Tyler puts it, I’m leaving at the ass-crack of dawn for the airport.

Have you ever known that you were supposed to be in a certain place at a certain time for a reason? Today that happened. I stopped at Nordstrom’s to say hello to a woman I know who works at the Estee counter and is a genuine sweetheart. I then started to walk down Yamhill toward Pioneer Place Mall when I crossed paths with another genuine sweetheart. Right in front of me a young woman was riding her bike and the tire caught in the MAX track and she took a spill onto the pavement, hitting her head on the curb. Several of us ran to her to help. A young man, who I later learned is a nice guy by the name of Ian and is a musician, got to her first. I asked him if she was ok and he looked up and said “no”. We got her, her bike, and her belongings off the street. Before we could even get her up off the ground, she’s holding her ear with blood pouring into her hand and she said “who needs an ear anyway?”

The people of Portland are incredible. I’ve always known that, but today was another proven example of just how wonderful they are. The top portion of her ear was torn almost all the way off and was bleeding a lot. I asked if anyone had a cloth or something to hold against it and one woman offered her sweatshirt that was in her bag. That’s amazing. I told her no, that I would run across the street to the Ben & Jerry’s to get something. As I ran in, another woman was asking for ice. The people at Ben & Jerry’s gave her a bag full of ice and a clean, white towel. The girl on the bike, Erica, refused to go to the hospital or to have an ambulance called, no matter how many of us told her she really needs to go. The reason she wouldn’t go to the hospital is that she doesn’t have any health insurance. This country is so fucked up when a 25-year-old girl rips off the top of her ear and her very first reaction is “I don’t have insurance”. She told me later that that was her very first thought when she fell. That’s unacceptable to me. We saw a police officer on his bike, flagged him over, asked him to help out. He said he couldn’t, that he’s just a bike patrol officer. I tried convincing him to please call the department and see if an officer would drive her to the emergency room, that none of us had a car. He again said he couldn’t do anything. Erica asked if there was a free clinic. Finally, something that officer could do….radio whomever and ask for the address of the nearest free clinic. Wow. I called the police non-emergency number and explained the situation only to be cutoff and told I needed to call 911. So, that’s what I did. And guess what I get? That damned automated voice that said, “if this is a 911 emergency please say 911 after the beep”. A woman standing there just laughed, she was as astounded as I was. I explained the situation and the operator was very helpful; she said she would send the fire department to look at Erica. What showed up were four of the hottest firefighters I’ve ever seen. And one of them was the tallest guy I’ve seen in a really long time. When I say they were hot, I mean they were HOT. Oh to be in my 20’s again. And they were quite smitten with Erica. Who wouldn’t be, she’s such a sweet girl and all through this, she was so strong and had us laughing. As Ian said, you know the true person when you see how they react to situations like this.

Ian was so nice, he poured water from one of the water bottles that the firefighters gave Erica onto the towel and proceeded to wash the blood off her hand, arm and face. It was very touching to watch him. He told us he was “kind of drunk” and that made us laugh. I asked him what he was like sober if he was this nice when drunk. His answer…”I’m even nicer”. Ian and I sat with Erica until her friend came to pick her up and take her to the hospital. Yes, we, along with the hot firefighters, convinced her that she needed to get to the hospital. While waiting we exchanged phone numbers, Ian’s MySpace address, and Erica and my blog URL’s. Erica smiled that wonderful smile of hers and said “now we’re all friends!”

She just called me to let me know she’s home from the hospital, they were able to save her ear by stitching it back into place. And the plastic surgeon that was there for her is the best ear doc in town, that he’s the one people call when they need work on their ears. And that’s good because Erica said “and I had such cute ears!” Now she will continue to have cute ears.

This incident today has two lessons: 1) wear a bike helmet, and 2) elect politicians who will actually make it possible for everyone, no matter how much or how little they have, to be blessed with having the very best healthcare in the world. Because it pisses me off that the first thought in someone’s head when they’re hurting is “I don’t have healthcare”.

But today also showed the level of concern and caring of people and what they will do for a stranger. And that makes me all warm inside.

Flugtag...Portland Style

2008-08-03T09:00:00.000-07:00

Portland certainly knows how to have fun. Yesterday was the Red Bull Flugtag in Portland and 80,000 people came to the waterfront as well as line the Hawthorne bridge to watch 31 teams "fly" into the Willamette River.

The opening show had three people parachute from a helicopter over the river and land on the runway of the Flugtag ramp. Teams of five people build a flying machine, put on a short skit or dance as part of their theme, then one jumps into the seat while the others push them down the runway and off the 25-foot ledge in hopes of flying over the water. Most crash immediately into the water as the crowd cheers. Just one more reason why I love Portland.

Freekibble...feeding homeless dogs and cats

2008-07-21T22:45:00.000-07:00

www.freekibble.com

You really need to take a look at this website. What an amazing young girl. You can go to the site daily and play a trivia game; answer one question and whether you’re right or wrong, 20 pieces of kibble will be donated. There’s a separate game for dogs and cats and just since April 2008 more than six million pieces of kibble have been donated to local shelters. The following text is taken from Mimi’s website…

Mimi Ausland, a 12 year old girl from Bend, Oregon, wanted to help feed the hungry dogs at her local animal shelter. "There are 10's of thousands of dogs in animal shelters across the country, all needing to be fed a good meal." Say hello to freekibble.com! And now it's time to feed the cats too!

Freekibble.com's primary mission is to provide good, healthy food to dogs and cats to those shelters who are working so hard to see that none of them go hungry - they need our help. We'll continue to provide free kibble to the Humane Society of Central Oregon and now we're expanding to add more shelters in need of free kibble. Furrytale Farms on Bainbridge Island is next!

Zootoo.com has very generously committed to helping Mimi succeed and is partnering with freekibble.com to donate and distribute the kibble to all the hungry dogs and cats.

We also want to make it easy and fun for you to help provide free kibble by playing the Trivia game - and we hope you learn a few interesting things about dogs and cats along the way. Thanks and enjoy!

Bob Dylan-It's Alright, Ma (I'm Only Bleeding)

2008-06-17T20:06:00.001-07:00

A song that is more than 40 years old and it's giving us the exact same message today. What a shame.

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!

2008-06-14T19:16:00.000-07:00

The History of Father's Day

Sonora Dodd of Spokane, Washington, conceived the idea of Father’s Day while she listened to a Mother’s Day sermon in 1909. Dodd wanted a special day to honor her father, William Smart, a widowed Civil War veteran who was left to raise his six children on a farm. A day in June was chosen for the first Father’s Day celebration - June 19, 1910, proclaimed by Spokane’s mayor because it was the month of Smart’s birth. The first presidential proclamation honoring fathers was issued in 1966 when President Lyndon Johnson designated the third Sunday in June as Father’s Day. Father’s Day has been celebrated annually since 1972 when President Richard Nixon signed the public law that made it permanent.

My father loves telling this story…

“When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.” – Mark Twain

Happy Father’s Day, Dad. I love you. And I never thought you were ignorant. Granted, there were times in my teens when I thought I knew better (especially when it pertained to fashion or to boys), but I always knew you were a smart guy.

This is a photo of my dad, Maurice "Mo" Leyrer, with my niece and nephew, Anna and Jackson Percy.

My :30 High

2008-06-08T18:11:00.000-07:00

Damn government...they had me excited for all of 30 seconds today.

On the way home I found myself thinking about my lovely economic stimulus check and that I’m supposed to get it around the 13th of this month. Of course, I’m hoping it would get here early. The gears start clicking in my head: today is the 8th -- 5 more days -- Friday! So I get home, grab my mail from yesterday and see an envelope from the IRS. On the back it says in big red letters “stimulus payment”. Hey Dubya…nothing like alerting potential mail thieves that there may be a check inside. I’m so excited that I stand there at the counter across from the bank of mailboxes and rip it open. What do I find? A letter. A f***ing letter. What does this letter tell me? That I’m getting a check. And the check will be here on or before June 13th. Talk about a huge let down, I was on a high for approximately 30 seconds. You don’t know all the happy thoughts running around my head for those 30 seconds.

This is the second letter I’ve received in the past month announcing that I will indeed receive a check. The magic check that is going to cure the mess our economy has become. Right.

I can’t help but think…if they didn’t spend so much money sending out all these notices about the check we’re to receive, they could have actually given us all more money.

Randy Pausch Inspires Graduates

2008-06-07T10:30:00.001-07:00

Randy Pausch is such an amazing and inspiring person. If you haven't seen his original video titled "The Last Lecture", please watch it. It was originally made for a group of his cohorts that were unable to attend a lecture he gave. But, as what always seems to happen, someone found it on YouTube. And the rest is history. What did we ever do before YouTube?

Randy is a relatively young man, not yet 50 years old, who was told last summer that he has pancreatic cancer and it's terminable. Since that time, he gave a lecture about living that has inspired millions of people and has led to a book, "The Last Lecture". And now this graduation speech at Carnegie Mellon. Each time I watch this man talk it sends chills throughout my body and I realize how much more I need to do in my life. It comforts me to know that I, too, have found a lot of the passion that he found. And that feels really good.

History has been made...

2008-06-03T18:08:00.000-07:00

History was made just a few minutes ago. Barack Obama has been named the nominee for the Democratic party for President of the United States of America. And on August 28th when he makes his nomination speech, it will be the 45th anniversary of Martin Luther King's "I Have a Dream" speech. Amazing.

War is Not Healthy for Children and Other Living Things

2008-05-29T22:36:00.001-07:00

During the late 60’s I proudly wore this patch on my bell-bottom jeans, sewn near the hem for all to see. I also had the pendant that I wore most days but I’m not sure what happened to it after all these years.

It’s been fun to be in vintage shops and see this same patch show up or to see young people wearing it once again. It’s also been very sad to realize that forty years later it’s been resurrected because another village idiot has gotten us into another senseless war.

I need to find that pendant. And then hope that when I put it away this time, no one will have the need to wear it ever again.

This is Your Brain....This is Your Brain on Hope

2008-05-29T17:50:00.001-07:00

They Said He Was Unprepared...

2008-05-29T17:45:00.001-07:00

Obama Rally...Portland, May 18

2008-05-25T12:26:00.000-07:00

Last Sunday I was one of the 75,000 people who gathered around to see Barack Obama in Portland. What an incredible day. I went with my friends Dori and Brent. The plan was for them to park at my place, since I’m so close to where the rally was being held, and we’d walk down to the waterfront. When Dori said they’d be here at 9:45 or earlier, I thought she was being a bit zealous to think we had to get there that early but I agreed. And was she ever right! The gates opened at 12:30, Obama was to speak at 2:30. We were there at 10:00 and the line already had wound itself down to 3rd and Jefferson. One of the volunteers told us that people began lining up at four in the morning. I will never doubt Dori again! We had fun sitting on the sidewalk talking to people around us and watching all of the politicians and their groups solicit votes. And of course my conversation with Greg MacPhearson on his negative campaign ads. Thank you to the others who agreed with me and told him so. The couple behind us were so much fun. And as others quickly learned, don’t even think about cutting in line; the guy behind us was having no part of it. Never piss off a former Marine! I wish I knew their names, they had us laughing and were so much fun.

Once we got through the gates (if TSA would only be that quick and efficient at the airport) we made a beeline to the stage in order to get as close as possible. We were so lucky, we found a spot about 50 feet in front of the stage. The Decemberists played for about and hour before Obama spoke. They were great, as always. When Obama came out with his wife and daughters the crowd went wild. He was visibly stunned by the amount of people and said it was the largest crowd ever. It was incredible to look around and see this mass of people gathered on the banks of the Willamette. The water was filled with boats of all sizes, people in canoes, kayaks and jet-skis.

One article on The Huffington post called us ‘latte liberals’ and CNN referred to us as ‘earthy people’. Damn right…and proud of it!

The pictures in this post were taken by my friend Brent, with the exception of the last one which is from The Oregonian (click on that one to see the magnitude of the crowd).

When the Phone Rings at 3am........

2008-05-17T15:12:00.001-07:00

These Guys Always Make Me Laugh...

2008-05-14T23:38:00.001-07:00

Flight of the Conchords -- Ladies of the World

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!

2008-05-11T07:10:00.000-07:00

Happy Mother's Day everyone.

I feel so blessed to be the mum to my two incredible children...Erika Nikole and Tyler Michael. They are my heroes and the rock that I stand on. That sounds so cliché, but it's true; they've been here for me through good times and bad times. And honestly, I don't know how I could do it without them. I love you with all my heart and I'm proud to me your mum!

The American Dream...or the American Nightmare

2008-04-20T08:23:00.001-07:00

This is an 11th grade English project about the American Dream. It made me cry.

I really like this....

2008-04-13T08:43:00.000-07:00

"Here's to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round heads in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They're not fond of rules and they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify them, or vilify them. But the only thing you can't do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do." — Jack Kerouac

Dance, Monkey, Dance

2008-04-05T09:00:00.001-07:00

Hmmm........

2008-03-12T18:33:00.001-07:00

"There was never a night or a problem that could defeat sunrise or hope." -- Bern Williams

2008-02-19T09:46:00.000-08:00

How could anyone have a bad when it starts with this? I love the sunrise that I see each morning (well, most mornings!) out my window. There isn't much that can top the sun rising behind Mt. Hood. This morning was no exception. I sat and just stared at this absolutely beautiful scene playing out in front of me; and just as the sun became a little brighter, the fog appeared, looking as beautiful as ever.

In the first photo, if you click to enlarge it, you can see the meteor. We were lucky enough to have a view of the meteors this morning in the northwest. Pretty incredible.

eh.....

2008-02-14T07:29:00.000-08:00

One Day = $720 Million

2008-02-12T18:29:00.000-08:00

StoryPeople

2008-02-07T21:38:00.000-08:00

The plumber was digging around in the pipes
and he saw something shine in the muck
and it turned out to be the soul of the last tenant.

He gave it to me and I said I wonder how we can return it
and he shrugged and said he found stuff like that all the time.

You'd be amazed what people lose, he said.

Why I'm Pissed with N.O.W.

2008-01-29T13:48:00.000-08:00

The New York State chapter of N.O.W. released this statement yesterday. I’m not all that happy with them. In fact, I’m pretty much pissed off with them. Read on….

Senator Kennedy Betrays Women by Not Standing For Hillary Clinton for President
January 28, 2008

Women have just experienced the ultimate betrayal. Senator Kennedy’s endorsement of Hillary Clinton’s opponent in the Democratic presidential primary campaign has really hit women hard. Women have forgiven Kennedy, stuck up for him, stood by him, hushed the fact that he was late in his support of Title IX, the ERA, and the Family and Medical Leave Act to name a few. Women have buried their anger that his support for the compromises in No Child Left Behind and the Medicare bogus drug benefit brought us the passage of these flawed bills. We have thanked him for his ardent support of many civil rights bills, BUT women are always waiting in the wings.

And now the greatest betrayal! We are repaid with his abandonment! He’s picked the new guy over us. He’s joined the list of progressive white men who can’t or won’t handle the prospect of a woman president who is Hillary Clinton (they will of course say they support a woman president, just not “this” one). “They” are Howard Dean and Jim Dean (Yup! That’s Howard’s brother) who run DFA (that’s the group and list from the Dean campaign that we women helped start and grow). "They" are Alternet, Progressive Democrats of America, democrats.com, Kucinich lovers and all the other groups that take women's money, say they’ll do feminist and women’s rights issues one of these days, and conveniently forget to mention women and children when they talk about poverty or human needs or America’s future.

This latest move by Kennedy, is so telling about the status of and respect for women’s rights, women’s voices, women’s equality, women’s authority and our ability – indeed, our obligation- to promote and earn and deserve and elect, unabashedly, a President that is the first woman after centuries of men who “know what’s best for us”.

Well, being that I’m not one to keep quiet when I have an opinion, I sent this response to them…

I just read your press release on the Kennedy endorsement and I have to say, I’m very disappointed in NOW. I’m a liberal Democrat, a female, and would love to see our country elect a woman president. But I’m part of the “they” that you talk about...not Hillary, not this woman who is nothing more than a Republican masquerading as a Democrat. Not this woman who began her adult life as a Goldwater Girl. Not this woman who is in favor of the war and continuing funding of it and is willing to send more men AND women to battle.

Statements like the one you released yesterday are what make so many people upset with your organization. We don’t vote for a person because of what’s between their legs, we vote for what’s between their ears. I would like to see you back down on this latest stance and help elect an individual, regardless of their gender, who will stand up for our rights as a woman and do what’s best for us.

Thank you, I’m sure you aren’t going to like what I said but I appreciate you taking the time to listen to my view.

A Day Made in Heaven

2008-01-26T12:57:00.000-08:00

My definition of a great day...sleep in, get a call from someone who wants to pay me to get his listings on the market, play around on Goodreads, brew a pot of tea, light some incense, listen to music. And to top it off, it's an overcast, rainy, cold day in Portland. My perfect day will only get better once I settle into reading my book.

My son gave me some TeaPosy for Christmas. It's tea that is woven into flowers so that when you brew it, it blossoms into something beautiful. I was saving them until I either had company or was going to a friends home. But then I asked myself this afternoon, "why wait, Karen, you're worth it". Here's a photo of the one I brewed today, it blossomed into a carnation. Not the best photo, I'm not the photographer that my brother is. I'll blame it on poor lighting.

And the other photo is from just a few days ago when the sun was bright and I could see Mt. Hood in all of it's glory. It's so beautiful, completely covered with snow. On that day you could see the snow blowing around the top, it was breathtaking. And to think I get to look at this from my window every day.

Joe Cocker is currently singing his cover of the Beatles "Come Together". Life is good.

How to Blow an Interview

2008-01-23T10:17:00.000-08:00

Ok, as you know, I've been on that fun trek of job hunting. I saw this video today and it cracks me up. All I want to do in an interview anymore is say exactly what the guy being interviewed said in his last line.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t2F1l1eE7ug

It's more than a day off work or school....

2008-01-21T08:25:00.000-08:00

"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter."

Martin Luther King, Jr.
January 15, 1929 - April 4, 1968

Christmas 2007

2008-01-12T22:23:00.001-08:00

Christmas with us isn’t always traditional. Tyler and Erika were both here and we had an incredible time together. I am so blessed to not only have two of the most wonderful kids in the world, but that we have a lot of fun together.

One tradition held up again this year…Erika had trouble getting here on her normal flight. Once again the airlines cheated us out of time together. As with last year, she ended up flying into Seattle and driving the three hours down here. At least this year we didn’t need to drive to get her, she met someone at the airport in Chicago and they rented a car together.

To celebrate Erika’s birthday, Tyler took the three of us out on the town. We started out at CC Slaughter’s for the drag show. So much better than Darcelle’s! Erika was taken onto the dance floor by Bolivia Carmichaels and Honey Bea Hard for a little birthday celebration. Tyler was also a hit with the ladies. Not a big surprise there, that’s pretty normal in his world.

After CC Slaughter’s we walked down the street to VooDoo Doughnuts. VooDoo Doughnuts is a late night doughnut shop that has the most unusual array of doughnuts you could ever imagine. It’s hard to explain the place…kind of goth, very small, very popular, and busy all through the night. Oh, and, you can hold a wedding there. A legal wedding! Check out their website to see some of the crazy doughnuts they have: www.voodoodoughnut.com

Christmas Eve and Christmas Day were pretty traditional…cooking, eating, presents, lounging around the house.

The rest of the time was spent just hanging out around town and eating endless leftovers. It was a wonderful week.

Pioneer Courthouse Square

Sibling love.

They spent a lot of time like this...sharing music, photos, fixing Erika's computer, looking at myspace and facebook.

Tyler showing Erika the fine art of mascara application before going out for the night.

Bolivia Carmichaels
(CC Slaughter's)

Tyler and Beyonce
(CC Slaughter's)

Honey Bea Hard going for the goods. Yes, that's Tyler getting the "attention"! I think Erika enjoyed it as much as Tyler.
(CC Slaughter's)

VooDoo Doughnuts

Touché

2007-12-18T20:27:00.000-08:00

You just never stop learning from your children…no matter how old you become. Last night as I was wrapping presents for Christmas, I realized just how few I could afford this year and of course I felt really awful. You see, I’m a huge fan of Christmas and love giving presents to people. In fact, I love to give gifts more than I love to get them. But this year is a first; finances are not what they used to be so there aren’t as many gifts.

I went to my computer and wrote an email to my kids telling them how sad I feel not having as many gifts for them. Bright and early this morning my very wise son responds to my email…

Don't feel bad! Read your Dr. Seuss quote and actually listen to what it says!!! ;)

You see, that wonderful Dr. Seuss quote is on my email signature every year. I really do believe what it says; I just became wrapped up in the gifts (pun not intended) and didn’t listen to my own words. Art Linkletter was right,” kids say the darndest things”. Even when they’re no longer kids.

Dr. Seuss

2007-12-13T22:56:00.000-08:00

It came without ribbons, it came without tags,
It came without packages, boxes, or bags.
Christmas can't be bought from a store...
Maybe Christmas means a little bit more?

--Theodor Geisel, aka Dr.Seuss

Candlelight and Tears

2007-12-13T22:36:00.000-08:00

Tonight was the annual Candlelight Ceremony at the Peace House that my support group holds to honor our loved ones who died by suicide. It was a beautiful night…a sad night…an uplifting night. So many gathered among the Christmas decorations, the roaring fire and the candlelight to show our love and support for each other. There were songs sung by people with beautiful voices and poems read. There were tears shed as well as laughter and hugs. There were candles lit as each name was read.

I read two poems and the final poem of the night was hard for me, I cried through most of it. But the nice part is, no one in that room thought anything of it, they all know how it feels. A death by suicide is a horrible grief, but the wonderful people who support you are what get you through the day.

Here are the two poems I read…

Don’t Tell Me
Author unknown

Don’t tell me that you understand, don’t tell me that you know,
Don’t tell me that I will survive, how I will surely grow.
Don’t tell me this is just a test, that I am truly blessed,
That I am chosen for this task, apart from all the rest.
Don’t come at me with answers that can only come from me,
Don’t tell me how my grief will pass, that I will soon be free.
Don’t stand in pious judgment of the bonds I must untie,
Don’t tell me how to suffer, don’t tell me how to cry.
My life is filled with selfishness, my pain is all I see,
But I need you, I need your love, unconditionally.
Accept me in my ups and downs, I need someone to share,
Just hold my hand and let me cry, and say,
“My friend, I really do care.”

The Dance
written by Tony Arata

Looking back on the memory of The dance we shared ‘neath the stars alone
For a moment all the world was right
How could I have known that you’d ever say goodbye

And now I’m glad I didn’t know
The way it all would end, the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance, I could have missed the pain
But I’d of had to miss the dance

Holding you I held everything
For a moment wasn’t I a king
But if I’d only known how the king would fall
Hey who’s to say you know, I might have chanced it all

And now I’m glad I didn’t know
The way it all would end, the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance, I could have missed the pain
But I’d of had to miss the dance

Yes, my life is better left to chance
I could have missed the pain
But I’d of had to miss the dance.

---John, thank you for giving me the dance I always dreamed of---

This post was moved from a previous site. This is a comment left on the other site:

LeeAnne said...

I'm so glad you have your group... a group you never wanted to join but there you are.

"The Dance" has always been one of my most favorite Garth Brooks songs. Sniff sniff.

Big hugs to you.

Vintage Leyrer

2007-11-29T19:33:00.000-08:00

Today my cousin Sherry sent me a photo that she recently came across. I love this photo! My guess is that it’s about 1960 or 1961. It's just a fraction of my family at my Aunt Kay’s high school graduation party.

The who’s who: back row: my handsome father Maurice (Mo), an “unknown” woman, my aunt Joyce, grandpa and grandma (parents to 14 kids and more than 40 grandchildren), my mom Jan, aunt Bonnie, aunt Carol (peeking through), aunt Kay, and aunt Patty. In front of them: uncle Dean (in the bow-tie), cousins Rebecca, Kim and Sherry. Then the two cuties...me (in the polka dot dress) and my little brother Tom. Sherry, why are you scowling at me?!? (to see the photo in a larger view, click on the photo)

I had to laugh, the four of us (mom, dad, Tom and me) are so tan and look so classy that we look like the rich family from the suburbs. Oh how looks are deceiving! We were poor and lived in the city. It was a “good poor”…we had more than we realized we did and we were happy. And my brother and I never knew we were poor until we were grown and reflected on how little we had financially. My parents provided a nice home for us and always made sure we had everything we needed. And a lot of times, more than we needed.

Many of the people in the photo are no longer with us. I miss them all. And I love my cousin Sherry for sending this photo. And I also love her for a lot more reasons; she’s wonderful.

(Update: since posting this I have found out that the "unknown woman" is a former aunt. Her name is Cathy.)

Black Friday

2007-11-24T02:02:00.000-08:00

While the rest of the universe hopped out of bed at the crack of dawn for the mega sales, my son and I slept in, watched a little of the (Portland) Macy's parade on television, and then proceeded with breakfast. While I made breakfast, Tyler made mimosas. As I was getting the pile of scrambled eggs on the table, I put the orange juice back in the fridge. So halfway through breakfast when I asked for a refill, he reached over and grabbed the champagne and bottle of Cointreau, saying the Cointreau was fine, we didn’t need the orange juice. Good boy…I raised you right! In the afternoon it was off to the Tao of Tea on SE Belmont for some great food and tea with a friend. We then made our normal trek to Powell’s. Aaahh…Powell’s, a book lovers paradise. Next stop was Hobo’s for drinks and appetizers. Hobo’s is a great place in downtown Portland, a gay bar and restaurant with a wonderful piano player. A few drinks later we walk a few doors down to Darcelle’s for the 10:30p drag show. What fun! The show was fun, Darcelle (photo on right) was funny and watching the Mormon’s get drunk and try to seduce the strippers was hilarious. We then hailed a cab and headed home. And people think Black Friday is all about shopping. Ha!!

Thankful

2007-11-21T23:26:00.000-08:00

I’ve always had a tradition with my kids on Thanksgiving Day that while at the table we each tell what we’re thankful for. It sounds cheesy, but it’s nice. Although I always try to tell the people in my life how much they mean to me, I want to take this time to tell them again.

I’m thankful for my family…my children, Tyler and Erika, for being even more than I could have ever hoped for. They are my light and my rock. I honestly don’t know what I would do without them; my father Maurice, (“Mo”); my brother Tom; my baby sister Staci and her family, Don, Jackson and Anna.

I’m thankful for all of the incredible friends I have who have been through a lot with me and have given me the support, love and hugs I’ve needed.

I’m thankful that I live in a city that I consider home, and to me is the best place a person could live.

I’m thankful that although I realized that life is short, I was able to experience true love and learn the full meaning of love and romance.

I’m thankful for a warm place to go home to and a warm meal. I wish everyone could have that.

I am blessed…and I am thankful.

“In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit.”—Albert Schweitzer

Some Favorites

2007-11-18T13:56:00.000-08:00

Erika and Ashley.
This was part of a video they made that truly makes me laugh.

Tyler, Erika and Ashley in lobby of my Philly apartment.

Tyler with Mario, the keeper of a castle in Tuscany.
Mario was so classic. Loved him! At the time we were there he had worked for the family for more than 50 years. Mind you...Tyler is six feet tall; you can imagine how small of a guy Mario is!

The Brits are so polite!
This was on the top of a door that was very low.

When your brother spends ten days with you, this is what he leaves.
It's a wonder he has any lungs left.

When your brother spends ten days with you, this is what he ALSO leaves...
beautiful photos to remember the time together.

Does anyone know what this is?
We saw it on the beach but can't figure out what it is/was.

Tyler took the red-eye to Philly to see Erika.
He took a nap to catch up on some missed sleep; when he awoke, this is what he found.
It's so nice to have a big sister who loves to bake!

Coffee and cigarettes.
I send them outside to indulge in their nasty habit but it doesn't stop them.
Even on Christmas morning.

I love this...Erika's photo with some of her treasures.

Tyler setting up the "tripod" for a shot of mum and son at the coast.

Tyler and Erika in Philly.
Any guesses on which one lives in the desert sunshine and which one lives in the east coast city?

Erika feeding the furry coo. She took some time away from college and lived in Europe.
This is while living in Edinburgh, Scotland.
One of the gifts she sent me after this was a small stuffed coo. She hollowed out the bum of the coo and stuffed a small bottle of Scottish Whiskey inside.
My daughter the smuggler. You gotta love her!

Tyler and Chelsea at Cannon Beach, Oregon.

Yes, Virginia, it sometimes snows in Portland.
We get very excited.
Some get very frightened.
Sometimes the city shuts down.
This is amusing to a girl who grew up in the midwest.

Sunset at Arch Cape, Oregon coast.

Tyler and his harem.
The boy is always surrounded by a bevy of beauties!

Strawberry Fields in Central Park.
On May 14, 2006 we left John's ashes here.
He was a huge John Lennon fan so we thought this an appropriate place for his final resting place.
It was Erika's idea to go to Central Park and it grew from there. It was a nice touch that someone left a photo of Lennon and a guy was playing his guitar and singing Lennon songs that day.

There are some of his ashes outside his office window at the College of Staten Island, under a tree which he called "our tree".
I think John would be happy.

While browsing the Internet and becoming sidetracked (oh not ME!), I find a photo on a professional site of Erika putting up posters in Montreal.
Remember...someone, somewhere, is always watching you. Phone call for Mr. George Orwell.....!

Passe Muraille (Paris)

Some Little Things That Make Me Laugh...

2007-11-18T13:00:00.000-08:00

Along the coast we saw several billboards saying "Porn Hurts Everyone". They were next to adult shops and each had a different picture. This one is the family inside a teardrop. Another one had a child running from a man with his arms stretched out as though he were going for the child. We thought they were so absurd that we finally had to stop and snap a photo of one of them.

A garage we passed coming home from the coast. Tom said that if Dave is too busy, he can give him a call. That's my brother!

Poor Connecticut

Yes, there IS a pill for everything!

Can someone please hurry and finish off this checklist?

On a London street corner. I guess it's for us Yanks who need reminding.

What's on YOUR keychain?

Blood on their hands. Code Pink confronting Condi Rice.

You just gotta love it!

Be careful what you wish for!

Harry and Hermoine

2007-11-18T12:41:00.000-08:00

My adorable and loving niece and nephew, Anna and Jackson Percy. On October 31, 2007 they were known as Harry and Hermione.

This is a post that was moved from a previous site. These comments were posted to the other site:

Auntie Karen -

I really love the picture you left on there of us. I hope you're having a nice time. Your blog is really nice.

Love, Anna

Auntie Karen -

Like the cool website! It has cool pictures. I like the one that says "Please Mind Your Head".

Love, Jackson

Portland Rain

2007-11-18T12:36:00.000-08:00

A few weeks ago this was the scene from my balcony. The sun was trying to come through the rain and fog and I thought it was beautiful.

Blast from the Past

2007-11-18T12:20:00.000-08:00

My son went to an 80's party this weekend. This is him in full 80's regalia. From a guy born in the middle of the 80's!

The Man Incognito

2007-11-18T10:31:00.000-08:00

An email my daughter sent in July 2005 that I read again this morning. She makes me laugh each time she tells a story. My hope is that one day she will write a book with the stories of her life. I love you, Erika!

Here is her thoughts on a college degree...

For the past 5 years I have heard the phrase, "once you get that degree,
once you get that college degree." That magical piece of paper, that ticket
to some secret underworld.

As I sit on my bed at 2:21 AM, brushing bugs off of my bed, itching the five
bug bites on my arm until they bleed and desperately sending emails to
participate in psychology research studies, I can't help but think...
the education system is pretty much The Man incognito. He has been doing it
for centuries, in many different guises...dangling the American dream in
front of our noses, luring us in with empty promises and making us think
with each step we are getting closer. In reality, we are all just hamsters
on little wheels running in the Cage of Capitalism. And the education system
is just one more money making scheme.

Freud Time

2007-11-06T08:35:00.000-08:00

Well...today it’s a year and a half since my world as I knew it fell apart. It’s such a strange feeling. It’s like it happened ages ago, it’s like it happened yesterday, it’s like it never happened at all. Sometimes I feel like I’m suffering from amnesia, that I can’t remember this one section of my life. Funny, in April 2004 the highest high of my life (not counting my children being born) happened and in May 2006 my lowest low happened. That seems like such a short time to a lot of people and they don’t always look at it as being “as bad” because it was only two years. But those two years were magical and we filled it with more than most people do who have decades together. It’s hard to explain, it’s just that those two years were like Cinderella and her Prince Charming. And the fact that we’d known each other since he was 17 and I was 16 made it all the more magical. Kind of funny, as I write the word ‘magical’ it dawns on me that magic is just an illusion. Wow...wonder what Freud would say. That little thought has me deep in thought. Well that’s redundant!! But at this hour of the morning and with little sleep last night, I couldn’t think of the right way of saying I’m being philosophical about my own use of words. I need caffeine.

(On May 6, 2006 my husband died as a result of suicide after a life-long battle with major depression...He is missed more than he could ever have imagined)

525,600 minutes

2007-04-14T13:30:00.000-07:00

How do you measure a year? What does time mean? These are questions I’ve been asking myself recently. On May 6, 2006 my life as I knew it came crashing in around me in a split second. A police officer, questions, detectives, a medical examiner reading a note, a distraught child at your side, a call to another child out of state, calls to family, a stepchild, friends, a priest, a crematory. A funeral to plan years before I ever dreamed I’d need to.

Lately I find myself with a song in my head that I’ve always loved because it talked about the seasons of love, but now it means something completely different. Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes, how do you measure a year? How DO you measure a year, and what does it mean?

For me it has meant the “first” of everything: an anniversary, his birthday, my birthday, holidays, special anniversaries that only held meaning for the two of us, visits to places we once visited together. It has meant no one to share special moments with, no one to greet you when you walk in the door, no one walking in the door for you to greet with a hug and a kiss and a “how was your day”, no one to talk with about the world events and politics going on each day, the cell phone doesn’t ring with his number showing anymore, the text messages throughout the day saying “I love you” or “I miss you” are no longer there, the flowers he sent once a week are gone, the little “thinking of you” gifts and notes are no more. I miss holding hands in the movie theater, holding hands while walking down the street and kissing at the street corner while waiting for the light to change, the laughter and the smiles, the little sayings and habits. I miss waking up and saying good morning and going to sleep saying goodnight. I miss hearing “I love you” and I miss being held by the one I loved. I miss the daily poems he wrote for me and the songs we shared. Now I hear the songs and some days I cry and some days I smile and feel the warmth.

My life changed a year ago and my heart hasn’t felt the same. In the past year I’ve learned that I have a new way of life. New friendships have entered my life that I would not have, had my husband not died. I’ve become active in organizations that I never knew existed a year ago. I’ve relied on my friends and family in ways I never have in the past and without them I honestly don’t know where I’d be today. I wish my life hadn’t taken the road that it took 525,600 minutes ago, but at the same time I’m grateful and forever indebted to the friends and family who walked me through each one of those minutes. It hasn’t been easy but I’ve made it and I will continue. And hopefully I will be able to help another person who right now is wondering how they will make it through their next minute and the half million still to come.

As I try to make sense of the past year and try to understand what a year even means, I will do as the song says: “525,600 minutes, how do you measure a year…how about love…remember the love…measure in love.”

In memory of my husband, John
December 30, 1953 - May 6, 2006

This is a post that was moved from a previous site. These comments were posted to the other site:

artemesia said...: Beautiful post, Karen.

And you know that the loved one dies but the love does not die.

Your strength and devotion shine through every word of this. Heartbroken and inspiring words.
Diana said...: Your friends at PALINET are thinking about you and hoping for peace in you life.

Your words and the photos of John brought so many memories back for me...what a beautiful person. I miss him.

Cheryl Kaye Tardif... said...

I feel for you, Karen. I can feel the love you have for your husband. He was blessed, as were you, to have each other. Even for a short time.

When things seem darkest remember this: there is always light at the end of even the darkest tunnel. And with light comes hope.

Your friend,
Cheryl Kaye Tardif

September 2, 2008 10:25 AM

AFSP Out of Darkness Walk

2006-08-06T13:16:00.000-07:00

(originally posted 8.6.06)

May 6th I lost my husband, John, to the terrible and often misunderstood illness of depression. John’s death has not only devastated me, but also Erika, Tyler, John’s sons (Mike and Sam), his family, his friends and colleagues.

On October 15th I'll be taking part in the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention's Out of the Darkness Community Walk in Portland. I am joining thousands of other walkers nationwide to raise funds for the awareness and prevention of suicide.

The goal of this event is to raise funds for suicide prevention, erase the stigma surrounding suicide and its causes, to encourage those suffering from mental illness to seek treatment, and to show support for the families and friends of the 30,000 Americans who die by suicide and the 20 million people that suffer from depression each year. Every 18 minutes someone in this country dies as a result of suicide. These are completely unacceptable numbers; it means that we must do something now.

Some friends of mine have volunteered to join me and create a team that will walk together on October 15th. We are walking in memory of my husband John, but family members and friends who have died because of suicide have also touched others on our team

To make a tax-deductible donation please write a check payable to AFSP and mail it to me; I will then mail all of the checks to AFSP. You can also go online and make a donation on their secure site and add a comment if you like. Go to: www.outofthedarkness.org, click on “Support A Participant”, enter my name and follow the link to my donation page.

John's death has affected so many, we all love him and miss him so much. Please support our team in hopes of preventing another family from having to know this type of pain. Together, we can make a difference!